Teacher, teach! – The African way.

Teach me, teach me, teacher – Burning Spear

So i am checking my tweeter updates and there  is all this talk of mentoring, coaching and CBT for ADHDers.

Ok, I’ll admit I’m ignorant of  what it entails, though I can understand it is all about training me on my behaviors and improvement. Now this may sound like the best idea ever but for the life of me I have no idea how I can access such services here and furthermore from the few online coaches I have googled, the rates are just too exorbitant for me. (I don’t know about the rest here as I’ve tried to reach out to my fellow Kenyans but either I’m the only one here, or they want to stay silent)

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is I have noticed that of late my levels of procrastination have been  rising steadily, deadlines are passing me by too often and I have been withdrawing from people. I know the next stage is usually anxiety and depression, which is why I’m sending this SOS.

If anyone has an iota of an idea how I can access this kind of material, whether second hand or otherwise, kindly give me a shout.

Wishing all a peaceful Easter Monday!

Chris.

PS. My biggest challenge so far is prioritizing. I see it as the major hurdle I have to overcome so as to be able to address all the other issues that are affecting my performance and my life. the reason I feel this is because whenever I procrastinate, the motive behind it is that whatever i put my mind to in the midst of what I was doing is more important. Sure enough halfway through this ‘important’ emergency that has been discovered an even greater discovery is made. So at the end of it all  I have like a long list of projects that were abandoned at different stages scattered all over my workspace (kind of reminds me of government projects)

My boss is pissed off at my incompetence, already I'm in the self destruct mode by then and depression always seems to know i;m ready for his so called ‘motivational talks’ and BAM!! Another one bites the dust.

Bye,, My Stilnox just kicked in.

Changes that are welcome….or so I hope.

I need some sleep

Time to put the old horse down

I'm in too deep

And the wheels keep spinning 'round

Everyone says I'm getting' down too low

Everyone says you just gotta let it go

Eels – I need some sleep

So my meds seem to be working in a way, but with my ADHD I can’t be too sure. At least now when my angry moods pop up, I can walk away to depressurize.

But the major challenge is my job which requires me to stay connected from 8.00 am to 6.00 pm, handling calls and queries from at least 60 outlets at a rate of a least 10 to 30 calls per hour. the problem lies in the fact that with my condition some queries are of the kind you feel like asking the caller “Are you serious?” or “Duh!”

For us we are blessed with this condition, it is easy to see solutions so fast at times that our peers end up looking dumb (from our point of view). The challenge is avoiding projecting that to them in a way that demeans or puts them down.

Remember that advice we always hear '”When you are angry, count to 10 before speaking?” Guess what, I do count, but with so many channels working simultaneously it takes less than a second. While the other channels are still carrying over the heat of the argument. So I end up opening my mouth so soon and BAM!! We’re at it again!

So I’m trying out telling people on phone to give me a few minutes to get back to them so that I can get a few minutes to lower my pressure. Problem is, I may forget who I was on the phone with or find more calls awaiting me so its kind of back to square one.

Chris

P.S. So I found out one of my meds was sleeping pills, though I find myself up 4 or 5 hrs later. Need to have a talk with my doc about that.

P.P.S. on further reflection it may be the anxiety that was caused by having to travel while a decision was about to be announced that the outcome would cause friction and dissatisfaction to one part of the nation or the other.

Darn this wagon thing.

We are all creatures of habit. We can do most things without even thinking about them; our bodies take charge and do them for us. – Earl Nightingale

So it has been one of those couple of days, more like weeks, where all I had planned to do failed to materialize. Not because of unforeseen circumstances or interruptions, but cause I fell off the wagon.

Having lived without knowing what was affecting me, I had gotten so used to breaking promises that I made to myself (few as they were). I’m the kind of fellow who doesn’t bother with things like ‘New Year Resolutions’ because I know most of them used to be forgotten within the first week of January.

To compound on this is the fact that since childhood, I had no idea what a diary was for. Not that I had one, mind you, but the idea that I should note down what I planned to do later was an alien concept. This is a reality for most people I’ve known or met within our country.

Not to say that they do not manage. But if you’ve heard of the phrase “African Time” you’d understand, we Africans don’t set our timings with the military precision most western countries do. So if we are to meet at 2.00 p.m. as long as I make it before evening I’m on time. And with the enhanced abilities I have it means I may show up as late as a week after.

Anyway, getting back to what i was talking of. I was in the midst of coming to terms with the new life I have and what I have to do to “fit in” with the rest of society. After reading about how meditation, Yoga and a stable and healthy diet I came up with a simple (chuckle) schedule consisting of 3 items.

1. Yoga in the morning once I’m up (still trying to master the Sun salutation)
2. Reach the office 1 hr before reporting time to get a chance to add to my blog
3. Meditation before sleeping (when the amount of interference is lowest)

Well. I’m proud to say that I managed it for a week before I fell off. I’m still trying to figure out what triggered my fall. Maybe is the change of medications (I was moved from Zosert to Stilnox and Encorate) or the simple fact that I got late travelling back last Monday. Whatever the reason I suddenly found myself getting up late, losing focus more and more, and failing to meet my basic schedule. Luckily, Easter is here with us so I’m hoping to dedicate Good Friday to a bit more soul-searching.

More here ADHD: Where in the **** did I put my calendar.

Have yourselves a programmed week. Cheers!

Boundaries.

If she is wrong, try show her the right,

No need to quarrel, no need to make a fight.

Not the way - Gregory Isaacs

I just watched an interesting video on setting boundaries here

It gives a great insight to what both parties experience and also how to cope with issues. Speaking from my own perspective, I usually find that stuff that needs to be done in a hurry, snap decisions during discussions and repetitive queries usually end up being avoided or ignored.

Seriously! If you want a vague answer keep pressuring me, you'll get it. It's not that I'm avoiding the question but all this multiple channels have to process the data. On top of that I will avoid giving an answer until I feel I have all the facts required to give my answer.

So, be patient.

Who Am I?

 Don't take "no" for an answer
There's no telling where we've been
And all I know, is that if you can find me
You may never wanna find me again
'Cause people don't understand

……
People like me.

Alphas Theme Song

At times I guess my life can be defined like a person with multiple personalities but all active at the same time.

 

So our lives are a "Good news, Good news scenario" The good news being we get there eventually. And the other good news being to get there we take the most scenic route you'll ever experience. The downside of all this is of course that most of the people we interact with are not gifted/blessed like us so they usually end up either

• Annoyed or angry - since to them we seem to be ignoring them when they ask us something.
• Confused - when our comments or answers are brief and/or cryptic
• Hurt - since we often don't bother sugar-coating our comments

I really feel the character Kat from Alphas series (Guess it is my best show - until I switch to another), she's this lady who can remember everything she's ever learnt either by reading or watching, but cannot remember any event from more than like a month ago. Things like where she was, who her friends were, what she did and all that.

The reason I bring this up is I always find myself in embarrassing situations where I forget peoples names, or at times where we met. Thus it's like "Umm.... , remind me your name" or my favourite "I know we've met trouble is I can't remember where."

So next time we meet and I ask you again, please understand.



Guess he said it best.
"Your neurons must myelinate at an astounding rate." Dr. Rosen - Alphas


P.S. here is another take on the subject

Newsflash – we DO feel things. Eventually.

Finally the Elections are over!!!

 "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss"

The Who

Man, what a rush - I guess I was surviving purely on adrenaline overload for the last one week.

To shed some light - the last elections left us with strife and deep wounds.

So here comes the next one, alliances are formed and once again the monsters are unleashed. All of a sudden, people who were sane and level headed for the last few years start spawning vitriol and ethnic slurs.

Posts on the social media either contained, or if not the ensuing discussion would degenerate into a tribal/party bashing emotional slug fest.

(I get it that the web is where most people will unleash their 'dark half' - majorly under pseudonyms.)

So here I am, with my turbo boosted multiple parallel processor mind. With each new event, I can see a multitude of timelines branching out, plus all the branches each timeline may form.

To make matters worse, (or more interesting), I've just began my medications and I'm still adjusting. So by the end of it all I can now relate to the term "roller coaster" though I don't think I've ever ridden one.

Results: Depression sets in, a vicious swirl taking me deeper and deeper. Darkness overwhelms me, I can see it all coming back. The chaos, the bloodshed, the polarization.

Finally, it's all over. The common man seems to have understood that it is all a game to the politicians, or maybe we are too tired to bother any more.

I fall into a blissful sleep, all the emotional overload finally hits me.

Related readings:

Traits of an Empath OR “Hey Man! Keep yo’ energy to yo’self!”